Bordeaux 2010 Primeurs: St Emilion
Gaining entry to some Bordeaux châteaux can be tricky, especially for someone with a small voice such as myself. Latour is a constant challenge of course, the gatekeeper – he who controls the rise and fall of the electronic bollards – seems to have adopted the role with a fervour that would put Alexiares and Anicetus, guardians of the gates of Olympus, to shame. With this in mind I asked my youngest son, despite his tender years (eleven, by the way) already an expert in espionage, what equipment he could furnish me with should I need to enter one of Bordeaux’s premier grand superière-duperière crus unnoticed.
I suddenly felt I was Bond, and I had just walked into Q’s laboratory. First up was a water-squirting periscope. This particular piece of kit allows you not only to observe others unnoticed, from behind a wall (like the one surrounding Latour, perhaps) but also to squirt any overly inquisitive passers-by. Fashioned from an inconspicuous mix of bright blue and yellow plastic, this has an estimated range of 30 cm. Next up, spy glasses, stylish shades fitted not only with side mirrors allowing subtle observation of those behind you, but also with special water-squirting feature (a common theme in this equipment list it seems). And finally, a magnet. This might not seem like a very esoteric piece of kit, but I was told it is vital for checking whether or not your supposedly human adversary is in fact a robot. In the case of Latour’s Alexiares, that is a distinct possibility.
