Bordeaux 2014 at Ten Years
Monsieur Propriétaire leaned back in the Fritz Hansen Egg chair, its mocha brown leather tones complementing his tan, picked up on the slopes during a recent skiing holiday at Megève. The chairs were a little pricy – coming in at €18,000 each – but the luxury seating experience they offered was clearly unparalleled. And besides, when you sell at the prices Monsieur Propriétaire had set for the 2022 vintage, you have to spend the profits somewhere.
“Either that or pay the tax,” muttered Monsieur Propriétaire.
In the chair opposite, an exact replica in the same grace leather with a walnut base – one of six dotted around the table, in fact – sat his technical director Aubin Jefaidesbulles. Aubin looked at Monsieur Propriétaire, a quizzical expression wandering freely across his face.
“What are you doing here? More importantly, what am I doing here?”
Monsieur Propriétaire murmured in agreement. “Yes, it is strange, n’est-ce pas?” He liked to use a little French from time to time because, well, he is supposed to be French.
“You know the Bordeaux critic in whose head we live – the little one who isn’t from Essex, and who isn’t one of the Americans, you know who I mean, the one with the increasingly grey hair. Well, usually he just trots us out once a year, for the primeurs, but this year it is different. He is reviewing the 2014 vintage at ten years of age, and – c’est pas une blague – his 2014 primeurs report was the first in which I appeared.”
Aubin, in a state of shock, nearly dropped his hygrometer.
“In 2014? You were here ten years ago! Really?!”
-o-
Indeed it is true. It was ten years ago that Monsieur Propriétaire first appeared on these pages, in the first instance appearing in a few light-hearted paragraphs which served as an opener to my 2014 primeurs report, although it would be another year before the name Monsieur Propriétaire was applied, which was when his adventures really began. The 2014 incarnation was an early version of Monsieur Propriétaire, somehow different and yet, wearing his Austrian Loden jacket and Armani shoes (although not the crocodile-skin blouson and Balenciaga hoodie he has taken to sporting in more recent Bordeaux vintage reports) he is also somehow unmistakable.
When I think of the 2014 Monsieur Propriétaire prototype it reminds me of the very earliest versions of Bart Simpson who appeared on The Tracey Ullman Show back in 1987, different and yet immediately identifiable. Little did we realise, in those salad days, the fame that he would go on to achieve (I’m talking about Monsieur Propriétaire of course, but The Simpsons are, I hear, almost as famous). When I visit Bordeaux these days, more people ask about the well-being of Monsieur Propriétaire than about my own. And those who do not mention Monsieur Propriétaire usually ask about Twingo instead. I hope and dream, given enough time and perhaps a touch of AI assistance, to eventually be able to retire, and leave the running of this site to a digital version of my imaginary proprietor and a sentient two-door Renault hatchback.
