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Something Special

136 Ford Road, Upton, Wirral, L49.
Tel: 0151 678 1167

I have been notified that from July 18th 2010 Something Special is under new ownership. Clearly this review, from a visit eight years before the new owners took possession and obviously now very dated, does not apply to the incumbent proprietors.

I'll keep this review as short as possible, to lessen the pain.

First of all the staff at Something Special come in for no particular criticism. They are not particularly professional, but they are pleasant, polite and well-meaning. The hostess is also pleasant and, on the whole, interested and helpful. The fact that the staff are so pleasant makes it a little difficult to mete out the criticism that Something Special certainly deserves, but I shall just have to grit my teeth and get on with it.

The decor in Something Special is not particularly pleasing, but neither is it particularly worthy of mention. The plastic table cloths are, however, worthy of a mention - Bistro's usually have a 'cheap and cheerful' image, not just cheap. Also adorning the table were a collection of Paris goblets. Things were already looking grim.

I started by perusing the wine list from Hell. Two sides of A4 listing a selection of French appellations; Chablis, Crozes-Hermitage, St Emilion, and so on. There were a few options from outside of the world's greatest wine-producing nation - choose from Barolo, Niersteiner, or one or two other recognisable European wine towns. No information on producer or vintage, on any of the twenty or so options available. No New World wines. Just one Champagne (Moët NV).

For me this was very difficult. How could I find out about the wines on the list without asking for information on each bottle, one by one, a time consuming and exasperating process? It seemed a logical answer might be to take a peek at the bottles, after all I had walked past the wine rack, situated behind the bar, on my way in to the restaurant. Would it be possible for this patron to take a look at the bottles and choose one or two? Definitely not, was the reply. The hostess was plainly unused to anyone with more than a passing interest in what they drank. She at least agreed to bring two bottles to the table for me to choose from. I plumped for the Barolo from the Terre del Barolo co-operative - this being a reliable producer at least - rejecting a Crozes-Hermitage from an unknown co-operative.

Terre del Barolo Barolo (Piedmont) 1997: Moderate intensity of colour. Pleasant nose, with some rose petal elements together with leather-edged black cherry fruit. Smooth texture, integrated tannins, fair acidity. Nice flavours. Good bistro wine. 14/20 (December 2002)

As we had a good sized party I had the opportunity to see and taste a wide variety of dishes. Some of the starters were quite acceptable; Escargots in a garlic butter sauce were quite good, at least. Crab in filo pastry (akin to a samosa), one of the dishes where the menu deviated from it's French theme, was also reasonably good. Paté Maison was probably one of the better dishes of the evening. With the main courses, however, everything went a little pear-shaped. Bourguignon Boeuf was a simple, fairly tasty beef stew, which bore no resemblance to the famous Burgundian dish of the same name. Surreally, it was topped off with a Yorkshire pudding!?! A breast of chicken was served in a cream and tarragon sauce which was dull and heavy, although the meat itself had a good texture. A cut of sirloin was questionable, and quite tough, sufficiently so to pass comment to the hostess, who simpered a sympathetic but worthless apology. Some smoked haddock in filo pastry was deemed acceptable. All in all, a poor show.

Desserts were dutifully sampled. The crème brûlée, at least, was acceptable, although somewhat heavy on the palate. One really tempting dish, however, was the meringue swan, although unfortunately this turned out to be an evil parody of French patisserie. A sickly amount of thick whipped cream, between two meringue shells forming the body of the swan, and a swirl of meringue for the neck. All swimming on a lake of Blue Curaçao. Such a vile dish I have never before encountered.

We finished off with coffee which was dull and had none of the aromatic elements of good coffee. Either reused grounds or, worse, instant. And so our punitive evening drew to a close. We escaped, relieved, into the cold night air.

Prices: Less than £20 per head for three courses. From the wine list from Hell there is a small range of Old World wines most sitting between £10 and £20. Three house wines available by the glass. (20/12/02)