The message reproduced below, sent by a merchant in Greater Manchester by email (unsolicited), landed in my inbox just a day or two ago. It left me very perplexed, if you can understand what this message is trying to tell me please do let me know:
“Greetings from the Tasting Room, Hale Village where it is grey and wet. Not great weather but, for the moment at least, there are no bonfires! Although I suspect that’s only because everything is so wet that you couldn’t start a fire unless you have a Napalm filled flame-thrower.
Great excitement in the village the other day when Fudge caused a minor panic but all was solved with a packet of haribo tangfastic. Fudge, the mild mannered mutt wearing a fashionable collar was found wandering the streets but was captured at Portland with haribo tangfastic mix and the tag enabled me to contact home. This is not the first time Fudge has wandered, his owner explained, before setting off to collect the pampered pooch.
We have some terrific deals on Champagne at the moment and a selection are listed below. All prices include VAT.“
They go on to list some fizz, at fair prices, but not bargains (so little point in me reproducing here).
My youngest son provides us with a tasting note for tangfastic, with which he is familiar. He says “I’ve had them, they’re fizzy“. That’s the only plausible link between Champagne and the intro blurb I can think of. If you have a better association, do let me know.