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In Search of a Decent Wine List

I have a problem with wine in restaurants. Before you groan, I’m not going to talk about excessive mark-up, the ubiquitous practice of charging double or three times the price (or worse) for a bottle of wine compared to the price at retail. Although this is an important and much discussed issue, and I sit firmly on the “restaurant pricing is generally unfair, if not exorbitant” side of the fence, I’m not going to add to the discussion here.

My problem relates to the inability of many restaurateurs to produce a decent wine list. I’m not thinking of those restaurants with glorious cellars stocked with ancient vintages from the finest producers, possibly even manned by a sommelier. I’m referring to those restaurants that have a relatively short wine list, so their cellar should be fairly simple to manage, often with just a small number of reds and whites (often just six to ten of each) as well as the essential few bottles of fizz. I am sure theyhave a high turn over of these wines, but they are generally high volume bottlings not in short supply and it should therefore be easy to restock. Nevertheless, the restaurateurs involved seem to have the greatest difficulty producing a correct, up to date and informative wine list. And it bugs the hell out of me.

During a recent restaurant visit, which was otherwise very pleasant indeed, I was amused to notice the proprietor’s disclaimer “the management reserve the right to replace a wine with one from a substitute vintage or producer”. I don’t quite see how this fits in with the Sale & Supply of Goods Act 1994, which clearly states that a product must be as described, ie. goods should correspond with any description applied to them. A restaurateur who provides a 1997 vintage when a 1998 has been ordered is perhaps flouting the law, and no “reservation” of their rights should protect them.

Other restaurants, and not just those at the cheaper end of the market, get around this problem by hedging vintages. This only serves to annoy me more, as there is a big difference which bottle you get when you order from a list offering Château Talbot 1990/91. One may offer sufficient pleasure to warrant the asking price, whereas one most certainly won’t. It is necessary to enquire, or risk an ever greater fleecing than would otherwise occur, but why should this be? If the restaurateur has the 1990, list it. If he has the 1991, list that. If both are in the cellar, list both, separately, and appropriately priced. In these days of word processors and affordable computers, any restaurant can simply and rapidly rattle off a fresh wine list daily, should one of the vintages sell out. For the truly lazy, it could be crossed out until the list is properly updated.

As if that wasn’t enough, most restaurants commit further sins with their wine list, when they invite you to play ‘guess the producer’. One wine list I perused recently featured two red Châteauneufs, both from the excellent 1998 vintage, and therefore immediately tempting. One, simply denoted as ‘Cuvée Classique’ was going for just over £30, whereas the ‘Cuvée Prestige’ was down for a cool £55. Clearly a serious and potentially interesting wine, and yet I wonder if the restaurant has ever sold a bottle? Only to those curious enough to discover the name of the producer, or those too easily parted with their money, I suspect. This shortcoming didn’t affect me, however, as I found myself more drawn to a Chablis Grand Cru Les Clos 1997 from Jean Durup – a more likely match for our food that night – which was at least correctly described on the list.

Lists such as those described above tell me something about the owner of the restaurant - that they have no love, or perhaps even basic knowledge, of wine. Wine is a unique beverage, an expression of terroir, vineyard practices, vintage conditions and winemaker, all rolled up in a single bottle. Despite this many restaurateurs, whose livelihood (we are led to believe) depends on wine mark-up, seem to have no respect for it whatsoever. Perhaps, in their eyes, wine really is just a vehicle for fleecing the customer after all. Oh dear, I said I wasn’t going to mention that…. (14/3/02)